I’m a B-list friend.
I’m not a top tier or A-list friend. I’m not a best friend. I’m no one’s favorite person.
Sure, I’m included sometimes, and I know my friends love me. But, the list of things a B-list friend isn’t included in is painfully long:
Girl’s night? Only if it’s a group of five or more.
Dinners with other couples? Only if it’s a birthday dinner where a room has been rented at a restaurant or function facility and the guest list is long.
Weekends away? Only if it’s a really large group.
Saturday night gatherings? Only if we happen to run into the host in the supermarket as they are picking up food for the event.
Don’t get me wrong, my friends engage in small talk with me when we see each other in public. Occasionally I’m even included in a group text with a few of them, but it’s almost always a group text with a purpose like “Where is the basketball game for the boys tonight?” or “Do you know what time the fundraiser is this weekend?” Sometimes they reach out just to check in and they show up when in counts—like when I went through a breast cancer scare last year. But, then they disappear.
These aren’t mean women. Not at all. They aren’t trying to hurt my feelings or deliberately exclude me.
In fact, they often tell me I’m really “sweet” and “thoughtful” and “funny” and they are so “lucky” to have me in their lives.
I’m just not in anyone’s inner circle. And it hurts.
It’s not fun to be a B-list friend.
Originally published on Her View From Home. Click HERE to read the full article.
Relationships take effort and need to continuously be renegotiated over the years. These articles explore friendships and romantic partnerships - both their importance and how to improve them.