See this face right here?
This is the face of someone who decided to be brave and start seeing her therapist again.
Maybe this is your sign that it’s time for you to get support too.
This is the face of someone whose suitcase of feelings was bursting at the seems and desperately needed to be unpacked.
Maybe this is your sign that it’s time for you to unpack your own suitcase too.
This is the face of someone who wasn’t sure where or how to start or what feelings might show up.
Maybe this is your sign that it’s time for you to give your feelings a chance to be fully expressed and held too.
This is the face of someone who let down the facade today and let herself be real and raw and vulnerable.
Maybe this is your sign that it’s time for you to let yourself be real and vulnerable too.
This is the face of someone who feels emotionally exhausted after a therapy session but also lighter and somehow more whole.
Maybe this is your sign that it’s time for you to feel lighter and more whole too.
This is the face of someone who believes in her worth and her dignity and her right to build a life she wants.
Maybe this is your sign that it’s time for you to believe in yourself too.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret about change.
Walking away from the things and people that drain your energy is one of the hardest things you can do.
Even if that person or thing leaves you bruised and broken over and over again, making the decision to leave it behind and step towards a life that is more authentically you, is terrifying.
Like leaves your palms sweaty, gives you a pit in your stomach, and sends your heart racing - terrifying.
You begin to worry about all the people that won’t understand.
You start a repetitive loop of all the “what if” scenarios.
You decide that it’s just not worth it - change would be too hard.
But, sweet reader, I promise you it IS worth it.
All of the pain and fear and hard work of walking away from the life you know and walking towards the life you deserve is worth it.
I hope that someday you find the courage to take the first step away from the hurt and turn your gaze to the horizon of possibility.
A beautiful horizon of possibility - that’s what exists for you once you decide to take your future and your happiness into your own hands and go after the things you want.
I promise you that there will be moments where you doubt your decision. There will be moments where you start to turn back towards the pain because the devil you know is greater than the devil you don’t know right?
Remember this - there’s only one way to find out.
You owe it to yourself in those moments to keep moving forward.
Keep moving towards your goals and away from the painful past.
Even when it’s hard. Even when it feels uncertain.
And someday, hopefully in the not too distant future, you will take a deep breath in for just a moment and catch a glimpse of the life you used to know, a glimpse of the shell of the person you used to be, and you will smile.
You will smile and notice that your heart is light, you are surrounded by true support, and you are on the right path - all because you believed you were worthy and took that first step towards change and possibility.
“You’re one of the strongest moms I know. If you can’t do it, I can’t either.”
My friend’s words jumped out of the text at me, hitting me right in the gut. That negative voice in my head, always lurking just beneath the surface, was quick to question her view of me.
How could it be that someone sees me as strong when lately all I feel is weak, a growing sense that I am a failure, and the notion that I am shrinking away from everyone?
How could it be that despite the fog of depression and anxiety that has lately filled my head once again, I could appear to have it all together to others?
How could it be that my outward projection is such a contradiction to my inner thoughts about myself?
Which view of me is the correct one? Her view or my own?
“I always think of you when I am in a bad spot and wonder what you would do.”
This time her words hit me even deeper. They cut through the nonsense in my head and brought some clarity to me.
She had no way of knowing my inner struggles, but something I was doing or saying was acting as a lifeline for her. Somehow, despite nearly drowning in my own despair, I was serving as a beacon of hope for her at times.
Maybe, just maybe, that voice in my head was wrong.
Maybe, just maybe, I could find a way to be that beacon of hope for myself.
Her words echoed in my head that night and kept me awake for hours as I reflected more and more about what it meant to be a source of hope for someone.
I realized that I can’t give up. None of us can.
We have no idea who is watching us, who is holding on to their last thread of hope thinking, If she can’t do it, neither can I.
We have no idea who is wondering what we would do if we were in their shoes, using us and our experiences to help guide them through their troubles.
Look around. Someone somewhere is watching you, desperately looking for signs of hope and a sense of guidance. Maybe it’s one of your closest friends, a family member, a neighbor, a mom who sees you in the drop-off line at school, a coworker, an online friend, a stranger at the grocery store, someone reading your words—it doesn’t matter who it is, but they need you to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep believing in yourself.
If you can’t do it, they can’t either.
Originally published 11/27/20 on Her View From Home: https://herviewfromhome.com/dear-mama-you-are-stronger-than-you-think/
This weekend I didn’t want to go anywhere.
I turned down invites from friends and turned inward instead.
I sat on my couch, wrapped in my soft blanket and just felt my feelings.
I laughed. I cried. I sat in silence. I binge watched a new series. I drank homemade margaritas and let myself eat extra toasty cheez-its.
I didn’t count calories, worry about miles on my spin bike, or focus on the number on the scale.
I let myself be loved and seen and let myself just be in the moment.
I just lived in the moment and let myself be.
And by the end of the weekend, my spirits had lifted and I felt freed from the heaviness that had weighed me down.
I was able to peel off the blanket and step back into the world, refreshed and hopeful.
If you need to take some time to stop and just be, do it.
Find a way to let go of the things weighing you down at least for a few moments.
The scale can wait.
The gym can wait.
The dishes can wait.
The vacuuming can wait.
But how much longer can you wait?
Now, more than ever, we all need a little support to help get us through the rough spots. With all the pressures of life, it can be a challenge to find time to not only take care of yourself but also to truly understand who you even are anymore.