Real Talk

If you’ve been here for a while, you know I’m all about being real and giving space to things that are difficult to talk about.

So, here I am!

It’s been 6 days since my 6 hour surgery to evict my broken uterus and excise my endometriosis and since I write about everything else, I figured it’s probably time to write about this too...

For starters, I read my surgery notes yesterday.

Yikes.

It turns out I was a mess internally. Endo had been doing quite a number on my insides. Organs were not where they belonged. Stuff was stuck to other stuff. Endo was growing through muscles and was literally everywhere. I had to have a lot of stuff removed, put back in place, and put back together. I’ve got internal sutures and dissolvable mesh and am waiting on lots of pathology reports from things that were removed.

Explains why the surgery took 6 hours.

Already it is lovely to no longer be feeling the daily pain my uterus was causing me for years now and it’s startling to be starting to really understand just how much pain I was in on a regular basis before last week’s surgery.

But, man do hormones suck.

My doctor had told me that I might feel pretty hormonal afterwards for 4-6 weeks. Endo is hormones and my body would likely react to the sudden hormonal change when lots of endo was removed even though I was able to keep my one remaining ovary. I felt great a few days ago and thought I was out of the woods.

Ha ha ha.

Silly me.

My doctor was right about everything else so of course he was right about this.

I feel first trimester pregnant now. I’m nauseous. I’m tired. Everything makes me cry. I’m foggy.

And I’m a bad Amazon shopper now too. It turns out that fogginess plus online shopping is not a good match.

On a slightly related note, does anyone need a random round battery from Amazon that fits absolutely nothing?

Back to the hormones...I only want to eat bland carbs and Cadbury mini eggs.

And I’m craving weird things.

Like that raspberry lime rickey in the photo.

I typically don’t drink anything other than water, tea, and alcohol and nothing sweet.

But man did that raspberry lime Rickey taste good.

So, basically right now I’m a lot of fun.

All of the hormone symptoms get worse the more I push myself. They also seem to peak in the afternoon so I am trying to find a balance between doing something and doing nothing.

I sort of suck at that.

I taught a class today and that went well but now my brain is mush - as evidenced by the choppiness of this post.

So, what is the point of this post?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sometimes the point is that there is no point.

Sometimes you just have to be in the process - without really knowing when you’ll get to the other side of the process.

Sometimes you just have to be in it - wading through the mud and muck and dragging yourself to the other side.

So, this is my update from inside the process.

Reminding you that if you are in the middle of a process right now - keep holding on.

Keep moving forward.

The other side is there. You’ll make it there.

And if you love someone going through a process and they aren’t so fun to be around right now, love them anyways.

They’ll get back to being themselves soon.

And seriously, when your brain is mush and foggy, step away from the online shopping...